How to support a loved one whose struggling with emotional exhaustion.
I’m certain if you look into your friendship circle you’d be able to identify at least one of your people battling the constant darkness of this world. Knowing that when you ask “how are you?” The “I am fine!” You receive in return is but an auto-pilot response to not burden you. However so many of us would do anything to help and assist them through there struggles .
Dang, some of us would even make their burdens our own. Just to give them a break.
Supporting someone that is going through a difficult time . Struggling to adjust to change , someone who has more bad days than good days, can be challenging.
So what are the healthy ways to support someone who is struggling to find themselves and their sparkle again.
Being supportive , compassionate and caring without going down the rabbit hole with the one(s) you care for can be difficult.
Hence here are some tips on knowing how to approach your struggling loved one .
Just listen.
More often than not, your loved one doesn’t want you to solve the problem for them.
They just need to know you are there for them. That you hear their struggles and acknowledge them. You may not always understand what is burdening them about a situation, but more often than not they don’t seek a fixer or a cure. They just want their frustrations to be heard.
Don’t pretend to understand their pain. Just acknowledge it. It’s often all they require to feel less lonely. It may also be the sound board they need to hear the words outside of their heads . Just be there, be present. If it’s something they have been struggling with for a long time , acknowledge the time it’s taken from them. Through all this, don’t diminish what they are going through.
Don’t judge what you hear or see.
When your loved one opens up to you, don’t share your opinion on whether they are accurate in their perspective or not . They most likely already feel judged and question themselves about a multitude of things. Just be there.
Be present and allow yourself to feel what they feeling for the moment - do your best to remain detached, in other words don’t take on their emotions after the conversation. Merely empathize while observing and hearing what they have to say.
Boundaries are key.
Respect their boundaries. If they ask to not discuss something , don’t push for it to be discussed . Let them come to you when they are ready. For that to work you have to remain constant and exhibit patience. Keeping their and your boundaries in check, allows for a healthy relationship without co-dependency developing.
Be connected.
Remain in contact with them even if you are physically distanced. A text to check up on a friend, a quick “how are you?” call to hear their tone of voice. These are all ways of keeping your loved one engaged in the present and allows you to track their daily interaction, from a point of concern and care. No one knows what that good morning text means to another.
Help out with daily tasks.
Where and when necessary , offer to help out with daily tasks . Doing a load of laundry or dropping off a cooked meal, fetching the kids at school, cooking the dinner even surprising your loved one with a cleaning service to spring clean their house, when you know their energy is depleted, are all fantastic ways to help out . Note: you need to be aware of your loved ones ability to receive these gestures. Their willingness to allow others into their space. Sometimes having strangers in ones space can be a trigger for something else , so check with your loved one before attempting any grand gestures.
Take care of your self!
It’s true, no one can pour from an empty cup. If you are going to support someone who is going through a difficult time , make sure you are also making time for yourself. Self-care and caring for others go hand in hand. You need to be able to protect your own heart, your own energy levels and nourish yourself , so you can truly be there for your loved one .
So in short .
Just listen.
Hold back on being judgmental .
Keep their and your boundaries intact.
Remain connected.
Help out with daily tasks - when necessary.
Most importantly - TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
Alecia
XO