The beauty that is you, cannot be taken or dimmed.
You need to be aware that if this happens, if the darkness of our crazy, messy, unappreciative world steals your light, you had given it permission to do so at some point.
You are precious and gifted in ways that no one else is.
Your magnificence can’t be removed from you!
I too, have allowed the world to darken me and my shine on and off during my 32 years on this planet.
But through every dark spot I’ve gained.
Gained personal knowledge, strength and most importantly people.
People who continued to see the beauty and light that I was , when I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.
Thus I know it’s hard.
I know how dark the hole can be…
But I also know that with a little bit of help you are able to claw yourself toward the light.
It’s ok to be sad.
The first thing I needed to acknowledge, was that it was OK to be in the darkness.
It was OK to be sad and down.
Why was it OK?
Because I didn’t want to be like that for a long period of time.
It activated the fight in me .
I realized I don’t like being miserable so I took action to get out of my mess.
I remember the anxiety that filled me from top to bottom. Yet I knew I needed to let someone in. I assessed my people and decided that some of them could carry my burdens with me. I opened up and started spilling my fears, my frustrations and so I got the courage to share.
It’s very different sharing to a friend who just listens and goes … well that sucks.
Eventually and with time … I got the courage to share my trauma’s with someone professional.
It took months for me to be ready. Truly ready to do the deep digging. The root of my pain was hidden so deep, I feared all the emotions and memories I would have to go through again. I got the courage and reached out for professional help and it changed my world. There is nothing more powerful than getting the guidance you need to change YOUR own world. To get your control back. Well the control you feel you lost.
Ever since, I have believed in talking to a pro. It is the root to all healing. The gentleness and objectivity was exactly what I needed to get through my day to day. While figuring out how it all stems from that dreadful root of original pain.
Sharing with a pro helped me to build up a bigger, stronger community of friends who could help. Who could share my burden. It taught me to trust and always ask … is this my feeling or a fact.
The power of knowing how to deal with an unpleasant situation or season in our lives, is a powerful tool we all should choose to have access too.
Community is key.
Having a group of people rooting for you is key. People who see that light in you when all you feel is dark and trapped. A community that asks , “how can we help?” A community of people who send random texts, expressing that they're just checking in.
That kind of borderless love and compassion is essential. Knowing that despite thinking that you are not seen or heard - you are!
Thus build up a community or accept that you have one - your community of people who cheer you on, no matter what!
This may sound fickle and without course , but it is part of the journey back to the light.
Accept your mistakes and forgive yourself.
Accept that on any given day it may be a bad day, a dark day, but now you have the skills to cope better. To learn that loving yourself is loving not only your strengths, but your weakness, your points of growth.
Your beautiful flaws… they are what make us human after all.
Our humility and ability to empathize with others come from experiencing and living through our own struggles and weaknesses.
I had to remember above all else, that to have come through it all, I had to be able to reflect on it and count my blessings.
Name my strengths and identify my points of growth.
All of us have the right to identify the messy parts in us, while we acknowledge that we are warriors.
So in short :
1. Know it’s OK to be Sad.
2. Let someone in - start talking.
3. Seek professional help.
4. Allow your community to care.
5. Accept yourself.
6. You are a survivor, you got this far, so keep going !