I was speaking with a dear friend of mine the other day as we were discussing the pace of life and how things have changed, from decades ago to now, we both stumbled across the reality of the speed of living .
We discussed the joys of being able to do more, while complaining about the great losses of choosing to conform to the pace of modern living.
The toll it takes on human relationships and humanity in its own right.
We live in a world where we are almost expected to do a multitude of things all at the same time .
I do it often , washing the dishes whilst video calling my friends all over the world.
Cooking a meal while listening to a podcast, whilst asking the cats to stop running across my furniture.
A million other things, silly as it may seem, but watching some series whilst eating dinner, has a split focus, neither are truly being enjoyed or appreciated.
Being present in a moment is essential not only for human relationships, but for your relationship with yourself.
Being invested in a multitude of things, doesn’t mean you should embark on trying to do them all at once and be encouraged to continue in that manner.
Being present requires being submerged and focused on one task at a time.
To truly taste the food your eating, every molecule, from the raw flavor of the tomato to the simple creamy,saltiness of the rubbery feta on your simple Greek salad.
I guess what I am trying to express most importantly is that YOU my dear human have a choice, to continue feeling rushed or to make the time for the things that matter to you. You have the choice to be running at 120km an hour or to live at full capacity.
Eckhart Tolle said it extremely well,
“Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously they believe the next moment must be more than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
The scary aspect is just how accurate the above statement is. I was reflecting out loud with another one of my people and I realized that I needed to balance my passion, my career and what I need to feel whole. I need to physically spend some time - making time for what feeds my soul.
My advice, plan your days.
Remain flexible, but know that you have an hour and a half a day, to do what you need to feel like a complete human. To have the balance you need to feel like you are living YOUR best life.
Implement some of the following to help yourself become more present and focused on the outcome you want for yourself.
Routine.
We all hate it - or so we say, but the current world crises of CoVid and lack of routine showed us all just how much we rely on our daily schedules to feel some form of drive.
Establish a routine that works for you.
If you a morning person, make the most of your hours before your work day starts.
If you an evening person, make the most of your evenings.
Give your self a routine that will work for you on most days (everyday is different- so go with your energy levels.)
A mini example of what could work for you.
Wake up - don’t pause, make use of your activation energy and get up!
Go walk the dog ( assuming you have 1),
Get in,do some stretches, have a shower.
Get dressed, have a cup of coffee and hit the work day.
If you have a commute use that time to connect with your spirituality, whether it’s Mantra’s, inspirational TedTalks, Worship music or a Sermon. Listen to something that will inspire you.
Go on work out what time of the day you have the most energy and utilize it to make you a more balanced person.
Control
Mostly control is an illusion. The only things we can ever be certain of is change and death.
However the idea of control empowers us.
The simplest things to control would be your intake of food and liquid.
By saying this I’m not encouraging you to count calories.
On the contrary, I would say indulge often and make sure to experience a multitude of new things.
However take control of when you eat.
Alongside with drinking a minimum of 6-8 glasses of water. (Depending on the season).
Not only will this help you feel like you have more control. It will also aid in a healthier lifestyle.
You could also monitor your sleep, an adult needs approximately 8 hours of sleep a night. Set an alarm for bed time and take control of your energy levels the following day.
Controlling these small things can help you feel more present, and actually open up some of your day for things that make your heart beat a little faster and make your smile a wee bit wider.
Boundaries.
What are boundaries, they allow you to be your true self.
They make other people know how they are expected to behave toward you. Boundaries provide physical and emotional safety. By keeping at bay that which feels uncomfortable or hurtful.
It allows you to say “no” without guilt.
Boundaries are extremely important especially when managing your time, expectations and the expectations of others toward you.
Obligations don’t make for being present in the moment. Obligations without a certain outcome in mind is nothing other than responding to a situation or a person from a place of guilt.
Thus it is extremely important to know yourself well, know what works for you, why it does so and look out for the things that don’t gel with you. Then steer clear from those and make sure to let those around you know how you expect to be treated. The reality is, we need to teach people how to treat us, otherwise we will be abused and manipulated.
Set your boundaries in accordance with your routine,your energy level and your needs. Communicate them clearly and stick to them. Someone has to earn and truly earn you breaking the rules of your boundaries.
Goals.
Set short and long term goals for yourself .
This gives all the presence a purpose.
Start with your long term goals.
As your short term goals are essentially the steps toward your long term achievements.
Choose 3 long term goals and turn them into your short term goals. Reason for this, the goals you can complete quickly will empower you. Remember that good things take time.
Take a few minutes and decide on the goals you want to accomplish.
Take the a moment to see how these steps when completed will build on each other.
Any goal that can be completed in your mind in 1 year, should be achievable in 3 months , with being present and focused and so all your goals essentially become short term. However to take all the pressure away, calling them long term goals may aid you in getting started and completing what you wish to achieve.
Be present, holistically.
To be present can be a simple experience. Choose to use your senses to their full potential. Listen to the wind and the leaves falling from the trees.
Smell the smells around you , they will enrich your memories later on in your life. Taste the juice, sweet, yet sour orange. Feel the grass under your feet and make sure to truly see the colours around you.
Take the time you made for yourself and make sure to absorb yourself and your senses. Invest your time, in you, in your life.
In short:
Being present will colour your world.
Creating routine, guides your focus.
Taking control of your world will help you be present.
Having boundaries allows you to be your self.
Goals give purpose to your presence.
Being present in your experience is an investment toward your stories, your memories and most importantly yourself.
Be present.
Alecia xo